So there you are with a sad case of ‘the flops’. ‘It’ may be down and out but it makes you feel down and out as well. It’s a depressing business but the real question is what can you do about it?
Ten tips on how to manage the situation:
Tip 1 You’re not alone
Please don’t forget for one moment that this happens to most men at some time in their lives. Often it’s temporary or related to the specific situation in which you find yourself. It could be such an evening full of expectation that doesn’t work out that way, or a period of overwork where you simply don’t have the energy left to perform. The worst you can do is to worry incessantly about it and get depressed over it because that will only make it worse.
Tip 2 Think about seeking help
As I said previously, on average one in three men under the age of 40, rising to as many as four in five men at the age of 70, are in the same position as you. None of us men like to talk about these things. We have difficulty in admitting even to ourselves that there’s a problem let alone discussing it with anyone else.
But swallowing your pride and seeking help is undoubtedly the most sensible approach to dealing with this problem. Unless you think it’s one of those temporary glitches that affects us all at some time in our lives and usually sorts itself out by itself.
Tip 3 Is there an obvious reason for your ED?
If there’s an obvious and immediate reason for this problem to have happened – for example lower abdominal surgery, diabetes or certain medications – then you know what the problem is and will have to deal with it in that context.
The specific effects of prostate treatment will be discussed in the next section.
Tip 4 If there’s no obvious cause for your ED…..
Now assuming you don’t have a specific cause that’s medically related, you need to sit yourself down somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. You need to take time out to think.
If your ED has started for no apparent reason you need firstly to read the first two paragraphs of this section.
Then you need to ask yourself a few questions:
- Has this happened because I’m so physically unfit that I actually can’t do it?
- Have I been putting on weight to such an extent that I actually can’t do it?
- Am I stressed, fatigued, overworked, depressed and don’t so have the physical, psychological or emotional energy to enable it to happen?
- Has my relationship soured, gone stale, got boring or am I simply ‘turned off’?
- Do I have a problem with making physical contact so I’m trying to avoid it?
- Am I simply too shy, too overexcited, too embarrassed to let it happen?
- Have I got feelings of being dirty or contaminated or I’m scared of physical contact
- Am I physically healthy?
Tip 5 Have a medical check up
Before you answer this last question ask yourself another. When did I last have a medical check up?
Sometimes decreasing male potency and/or libido may be associated with conditions such as diabetes, heart disease and others so it’s important to have a medical check up if you haven’t had one for a while.
Tip 6 Have a dental check up
You may think you’re physically healthy. But even minor infections like chronic gum disease or a bout of flu can affect your performance in all sorts of ways including sexually. Even if they’re not giving you any (or not much) trouble.
So make an appointment with your dentist too.
Tip 7 Think about your lifestyle
Are you really in peak condition? This implies avoiding negative factors such as alcohol abuse, smoking and non-prescription drugs. Plus managing stress, sleeping well and ensuring a well balanced and optimally nutritious diet.
Tip 8 Take action
When you’ve asked yourself these questions you might be considering doing some of all of the following:
- having a general medical and dental check up
- changing your lifestyle to reduce stress
- reducing some of your responsibilities
- finding opportunities for more rest and free time
- changing your attitude to your relationship or something else about it.
Tip 9 Think about getting some help
All these actions may benefit from some professional help. Apart from the medical profession, there are counsellors including relationship counsellors, life coaches and all sorts of people out there who can help you rebalance yourself.
You may need to consider getting some professional help if you’re not able to change, identify or resolve your problems by yourself.
Tip 10 Help your body to perform well
These are the first steps in getting yourself into your best physical, emotional and psychological state with optimal wellness and fitness, so that you can get the best performance that your body can give you.